I've recently taken myself off of the market. Now, this won't look any different from when I was the market, except that when people ask (and with my family, they will), I can tell them that I'm not dating for my own reasons. That way, I can sound wise, and like I've put a lot of thought into it. And if I'm in a Christian crowd, I'll get the double bonus of having them assume that my hiatus from dating is for spiritual reasons. I'm here to let you readers in on a secret: I'm off the market, because I'm sick of wasting energy on all the bullshit of trying to find a relationship. It hurts too much, and maybe I'm just getting old, but it makes me tired just thinking of trying to "date" someone right now. So, if you are around me, and you hear me say, "Oh, I'm off the market," you'll know deep down that you're privy to some pretty confidential info that only everybody with an internet connection can see (but a lot of them don't know that).
My cousin and I got to talking, about school, relationships, and things we regret about both. And she said, "If you didn't have regrets, you wouldn't be human." Now, this got me thinking about all those people you hear about/see around/know that talk about living life with "no regrets." And you know what I think? I think it is impossible to have no regrets without having a completely shallow existence! Which, for me, would be a huge regret. As for me, yeah, I've had some pretty shitty parts to an otherwise great existence thus far. And I do regret certain things, like dating that immature little girl when I could have come to tech a year earlier than I did. And failing those classes last spring. But you know what? That's just part of my experience of this STD called life! I have so much more about life that I enjoy, and the good outweighs the bad. In fact, the bad helps me give some contrast to the good, so I can see just how good it really is!
That's all I really have for now. I really have to get to some homework, I just thought that I had to get this out, or I might lose it. Do with it what you will.
"And the problem, it seems, is with you and me--not the love who came to repair everything."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I have no regrets and I'm not completely shallow.
-alicia
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that for me, I would perceive my life as shallow if I hadn't made some of those bad choices. I can't speak for you, and if you have no regrets, that's great. But for me, no regrets means I played it safe. Which is definitely NOT what I did with certain life decisions.
Anyway, I'm preaching again. My intention was not to call you shallow, and if I didn't get across what I truly intended to, I'm sorry for the miscommunication.
I feel privy! oh so privy! I feel privy and witty and... this is where that song ends.
Meh, no regrets on my end either, but we can talk about that sometime.
If you're not on the market anymore, can you still be found on the blackmarket??
Marcus... I'd buy you on the blackmarket, big boy.
I understand where you're at completely - Been there myself, just decided to stop that nonsense for awhile. Rest, refocus, recon the area better, and see what happens.
If you didn't have the BS, you wouldn't know what you know now. Fun it will never be, but valuable? Almost always, in some fashion.
For what its worth, my take on the no regrets thing is a little different - I have regrets, coulda, woulda, shoulda lists longer than my arm. Particularly about women and school. But, I refuse to wallow in them. The things I can change, I am working on, the things I can't, I have let go for the most part.
Do I wish they had happened differently? Absolutely. Have those experiences shaped me? Of course. Do I let them gnaw on me? As little as possible.
I am not going about blindly, wildly, in a fury of regret. I am neither motivated nor driven by pure regret - I let the lessons of experiences shape what I do next (or try to).
I like what you expressed about having regrets, I think were on similar pages, I just express "no regrets" a little differently.
Post a Comment