Well, Fancy That

So, as anybody who I've talked to knows, I recently asked a girl out, and was rejected. She gave me the usual lines that I've heard tons of times before. One thing she said was that she still wanted to be friends. So far, that has proven true. Things have not gotten awkward, and if anything, we're at least as comfortable around each other as we were before.

Something happened this weekend, though. Not only was she very comfortable around me, she displayed behavior that seemed at the time to be flirting. We were at our spring conference with InterVarsity, and while most of the time was spent in intensive study, we had some free time during the evenings. During those times, she seemed to want to maintain physical contact. A lot. And she stole my hat on a couple of occasions. I only mention the latter because it has happened before, and it was flirting then.

Needless to say, I came away confused. I spent a lot of Sunday wondering about what went on, and gathering advice as to whether or not I should bring this to her attention. I've decided not to do so, at least until I can gather more info and decide if this is going to be a pattern.

But after a while of wondering and pondering, I realized (with the help of the advice/wisdom of a friend) that I still have quite a bit of self-dislike (I really don't think it's as bad as calling it self-hatred) to work through. Who knew? Anyway, I'm currently trying to find ways to like myself again. Or something. We'll see how this goes.

"I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend"